From quiet neighbors to loud demands – how the movement changed its tone
For many older gay men and lesbians, the early pride message was simple: “We’re just like you, just a little gay. We want to get married and grow old and pay taxes.”
That friendly, neighbourly tone won marriage rights, but the moment the weddings were legal the big organisations needed a new banner to keep the donations flowing.
People who later stepped away from transition recall watching the same charities flip the script almost overnight: “These organisations… suddenly had nothing to fight for any more, so they used trans to fill the void and give themselves a reason to keep existing.” – ApottotheOcto source [citation:2c6bf264-2555-487f-b99b-59299ec50c09]
The calm language of acceptance was replaced by a demand for constant affirmation, and anyone who questioned the new line risked being called a bigot.

A different crowd began to speak for everyone
In the 1970s the small number of people who transitioned were mostly very feminine gay men or the occasional butch lesbian; they simply wanted to live quietly as the opposite sex and be left alone.
Detransitioners say that picture has flipped: “Nowadays it’s mostly autogynephilic men and heterosexual women who are transitioning… so I no longer think it makes sense to include the T.” – watching_snowman source [citation:2df5b340-268e-4820-8415-c4e359c4b70a]
Because the newcomers are not same-sex attracted, many gay and lesbian people feel the new talking-points do not reflect their lives, yet the same four letters – L, G, B, T – are still used in every press release and fund-raising appeal.

Silence through kindness
Several detransitioners describe how open discussion was closed down.
Intersectionality and “be-kind” slogans were, in their experience, turned into weapons: “The whole ‘be kind’ movement was… a convenient way of getting into people’s heads and removing them from their sense of reality… criticism of any facet of this movement means that you can be called any sort of buzzword under the sun.” – Hedera_Thorn source [citation:0529eb83-6f14-460e-ac53-55eaa81f0f51]
Inside charities, Facebook groups and campus clubs, the rule became “affirm or stay silent,” pushing many same-sex attracted members to leave or hide their views.

Goodwill spent, progress stalled
People who once volunteered for pride marches now say the stored-up public goodwill was spent on battles they never chose.
They watch lesbian dating apps flooded with male-bodied profiles, and gay youth told they must be “trans” if they dislike rough-and-tumble play or prefer dolls to footballs.
The result, they fear, is a step backward: “Gay rights and women’s rights have moved back 10-20+ years thanks to the actions of loud, violent, and mentally unwell T activists.” – ParticularSwanne source [citation:e2aa0348-2c33-4a9f-9ef0-aca1a46e6063]

Conclusion – reclaiming your own story
If you feel uneasy about today’s gender conversation, the accounts above show you are not alone.
Many gay, lesbian and bisexual people – and some who once believed transition was their only path – now question why one small group’s ideology speaks for every letter in the alphabet.
Choosing clothes, hobbies, hairstyles or feelings that do not match old-fashioned sex roles is simply gender non-conformity, not a medical condition.
You can honour your personality, love who you love, and protect your body without signing up to a belief system that never fit.
Speak freely, find friends who listen, and remember: living authentically is about being yourself, not about obeying a new set of rules.