Summary: Why some men adopt a trans identity

Across the personal accounts we reviewed, the men who later detransitioned describe a common pattern: their decision to identify as transgender was driven by a mix of trauma, social pressure, and psychological distress rather than an innate, fixed “gender identity.”

1. Self-hatred and failed masculinity
   Many were bullied or abused for being “soft,” “weak,” or gender-non-conforming boys. They internalised the belief that they were “failed men” and began to hate their male bodies. One man recalled, “I blamed myself for being male and saw my male persona as a failure” (throwawayac101010).

2. Homophobia and the lure of “straight privilege”
   Several gay or gender-non-conforming men said homophobic stigma made a gay identity unbearable. Transition offered the promise of a socially accepted “heterosexual” life and the dating advantages they believed women enjoyed. As one put it, “I wanted to be a woman so my life would be easier… straight privilege” (GenderHurts).

3. Autogynephilia as a sexual driver
   A number reported sexual fantasies centred on being female. They described how these fantasies, reinforced in online communities, became an obsessive motivation to transition. One noted, “there is a substantial amount of ‘trans lesbians’ whose dysphoria drives notably from the idea of being female in a sexual manner” (fir3dyk3).

4. Unstable or violent male role models
   Exposure to abusive or emotionally absent men led some to reject masculinity entirely. They associated manhood with violence and danger, and womanhood with safety and acceptance. “The men in my life were unstable and sometimes violent… I couldn’t associate with masculinity” (Obvious-Character976).

5. Online trans communities and gender ideology
   Repeated exposure to online narratives framed ordinary struggles—body dissatisfaction, social rejection, or discomfort with male roles—as proof of being transgender. These communities offered an attractive escape route: “transitioning proved the ultimate attempt at ridding myself of my past” (5nine8).

6. Bullying, trauma, and Body Dysmorphia
   Childhood bullying, sexual abuse, and pre-existing Body Dysmorphia or OCD were common. Transition was presented as a cure for distress that was never originally about gender. One man summarised, “I had Body Dysmorphia… engaging with trans stuff on the internet brought me to the idea that I’m trans” (throwawayac101010).

Taken together, these stories show that for many men, adopting a trans identity was less about discovering an inner truth and more about finding relief from pain, shame, and social pressure. They highlight the importance of addressing underlying trauma, self-esteem issues, and rigid gender expectations through non-medical support rather than medical transition.